"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
