I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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