5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
