i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
