i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Randomize
