If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
