Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
