Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
