I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
where does the pee come out of this thing
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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