I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
