i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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