he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
