mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
