Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
