it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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