Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
