Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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