you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
