You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
My breasts were aching with rage.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Randomize
