I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
