My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
