Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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