I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
