I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
