so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
