What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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