...so i touched it.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
