K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Randomize
