I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Randomize
