Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize