why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
