remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
