what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
