Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
