Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
