I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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