I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
