Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
