Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
