when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
