Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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