how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
There was a lot of him and a little penis
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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