using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
