honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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