I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
