Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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