so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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