real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
