from now on my penis is your penis
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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