Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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