the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Randomize
